Sunday, August 10, 2008
> two weeks to go...
Well, i've officially got less than 2 weeks to go, and i'm FREAKING OUT!! Granted, i'm ready not to grunt every time i pick something up, and I'm ready to sleep more than 90 minutes at a time. And I'm excited for these beautiful veins on my right leg to lose their 3rd dimension, and i really do look forward to meeting this little girl inside of me. BUT, i'm still really not ready for her to come!!!
Apart from the 28 projects i've gotta finish first, the baby shower i'm throwing this Tuesday, the activity i'm heading on Saturday for all the kids from my church, the Broncos football game we're going to Saturday night, and the fact that a crew of construction workers is coming Thursday morning to spend 5+ days ripping apart our kitchen (yeah, the timing's impecable!!), I'm just not ready to have 3 kids yet!!!
There are moments (and i LOVE them) when Grace and Abby will just run out to the backyard and play back there, needing zero attention from me, for 20-30 minutes, or they'll each find some books and thumb through them, quietly in the front room while i get things done. In those moments i think "I can do 3 kids, no biggie." And then there are the moments when Abby's screaming one of her many demands at me and Grace is yelling at Abby to be quiet cause she needs to tell mom that today she's Cinderella, and then they both start crying cause mom's ignorning them 'cause she's trying to cook dinner, and the tortillas are burning on the stove and there's someone at the door, and the phone's ringing, and Reid's gonna be late and i have to pee and i just wonder, in those moments, what i would do if there was also a little newborn crying with that "you can't ignore me, mom" cry!!!
Those are the moments i just don't think i'm ready for...and, truthfully, who is!???!?! But I just remind myself that for the first 4 weeks Reid will be here 24/7 (thank you FML Act!!) and that Abby and Grace really are best friends and play REALLY well together lots of the time. And i remind myself that God's on my side, and He doesn't want me to strangle my children, or throw them out the window. And i've got great friends here who have all volunteered to help any way they can. And i know that I'll be praying lots...and lots, and those prayers are heard. And i remind myself that there are millions of women in the world who'd give anything to be having their 3rd child in my circumstances...so, that's why i'm just gonna shut up and be grateful for what i've got! I mean, i have a freaking house and a minivan!!! Do I really still complain?!?!?!?! (the answer, sadly, is "yes")
As far as the pregnancy goes, my Dr.s have been a bit concerned as of 4 weeks ago because i'm not "measuring" quite right. But i'm not worried about it. I feel like i'm growing. i feel it in my clothes, and i can see it in my belly--i just think this little lady hides from them to be funny :) But they hook me up to all the machines every time i go in now. And every time they find that she's fine, and my fluids are fine, and there's nothing to worry about. (which i really do love hearing, even though i'm not super worried)
She's a very active baby. I feel like she's literally about to jump out of my skin!!! The Dr.'s say that because this is my 3rd child in such a short space of time that my uterus never got back to it's original size, so this little girl has all the room to move around, punch, KICK, etc. It's been SOOOOO much more intense this time around, even Reid agrees. He gets the heebie jeebies from just feeling her knee glide across my belly, bless his heart :)
All in all, i really do feel pretty good. i complain lots, and request massages every night, but that's just because i can :) I'm not retaining water this time, i haven't gained much weight (well, i gained 20lbs in the first 5 months--but not much since--my body is weird like that), the weather's been gorgeous (we're talking no A/C today!!), and is supposed to be gorgeous for the next 10 days. Overall, I feel pretty lucky to be having another little girl to kiss, to get kisses from the girls i've got, and that I'm still in love with the man who's kisses got me here in the first place :)