Thursday, July 8, 2010

i cried today... I finished sewing Grace's dress that my mom started months ago--the dress i'd worked on by my mom's bedside several nights, and the dress i've been putting off working on for fear that it would be too hard. It was. In every way. It didn't help that I still don't know how to work my mom's sewing machine, so I went to call her about 3 times, each time feeling like a new reminder that i can't. At least the dress turned out pretty cute.

I cried today as I hugged good-bye one of my dearest friends. Gillian and her family are moving too many states away. She and I have known each other since our oldest girls were about 15 months old. I used Grace as an excuse to invite myself over to her house 4 years ago, when truthfully i just thought she seemed pretty awesome and i wanted her to be my friend...and it worked! thanks, Gillian, for being the kind of friend I needed, and the kind of friend we ALL feel so lucky to have. You will be missed more than you know. I love you.

And I cried today as I hugged Grace outside of her Kindergarten classroom. She gave me a good, long hug. And then she turned and skipped into the classroom, holding hands with one of the girls she met at orientation the other day. She didn't even look back. I really, really wanted her to look back. Abby held on to my leg and said, right after Grace walked in the door, "mom, i really miss Gracie." She has no idea what she's in for. Eliza didn't really get what was going on until we started driving away, at which point she started screaming, pointing at Grace's empty carseat, "Gracie, Gracie"--and at this point my crying turned to sobbing. I tried to explain to her that Gracie would be back in just a few hours and that she was only gone for a little bit, but my words of comfort provided zero comfort--for either of us.

I don't love goodbyes, but they seem to be lovin' me.