Thursday, July 8, 2010

i cried today...

...as I finished sewing Grace's dress that my mom started months ago--the dress i'd worked on by my mom's bedside several nights, and the dress i've been putting off working on for fear that it would be too hard. It was. In every way. It didn't help that I still don't know how to work my mom's sewing machine, so I went to call her about 3 times, each time feeling like a new reminder that i can't. At least the dress turned out pretty cute.



I cried today as I hugged good-bye one of my dearest friends. Gillian and her family are moving too many states away. She and I have known each other since our oldest girls were about 15 months old. I used Grace as an excuse to invite myself over to her house 4 years ago, when truthfully i just thought she seemed pretty awesome and i wanted her to be my friend...and it worked! thanks, Gillian, for being the kind of friend I needed, and the kind of friend we ALL feel so lucky to have. You will be missed more than you know. I love you.


And I cried today as I hugged Grace outside of her Kindergarten classroom. She gave me a good, long hug. And then she turned and skipped into the classroom, holding hands with one of the girls she met at orientation the other day. She didn't even look back. I really, really wanted her to look back. Abby held on to my leg and said, right after Grace walked in the door, "mom, i really miss Gracie." She has no idea what she's in for. Eliza didn't really get what was going on until we started driving away, at which point she started screaming, pointing at Grace's empty carseat, "Gracie, Gracie"--and at this point my crying turned to sobbing. I tried to explain to her that Gracie would be back in just a few hours and that she was only gone for a little bit, but my words of comfort provided zero comfort--for either of us.

I don't love goodbyes, but they seem to be lovin' me.




11 comments:

Denita said...

Well I hadn't cried today until I read that!! Other than the sewing, which is one talent God did not give me, I completely empathize!! And I am learning that it only gets worse!

dkeaquinto said...

I'm just keeping my flow of tears coming. Thanks for going through this first, so I can cry on your shoulder next year. I already miss Gillian so badly....
Love ya,
Kristin

Susan said...

I too find myself wanting to call "mom" to ask how to do something or for a recipe and then the oh yea comes. I don't know if that ever goes away.....mine has been gone for 5 or 6 years and I still do it.

Marie said...

When Tom was 18 months old he and the other two kids stayed overnight at a friends house. Tom didn't bat an eyelash about hopping out of the car and going off with his friends without even looking back. I cried all the way home and called them later that night to see how he was doing. He was having a great time and hadn't missed me one bit! They grow up so fast, I can't believe Grace is big enough to go to kindergarten. She looks so cute in that dress. I know your mom is proud of how well you are doing. Keep it up! Love you!

Melissa said...

I am going to experience that in the fall with Keaton, my oldest going off to Kindergarten. What a bittersweet moment for you and your girls. The dress is darling, I love it and I am sure the value is worth more than anything, since it has such sentimental value. What a very sweet thing to have.
I hope you are doing well. I think about you often and hope that you know you have a friend far away who prays for you.
Love ya!

Emily Alexander said...

The dress is adorable Emily. I can't believe Grace has started school already. She is so cute. I miss you guys.

Gillian Brown said...

OH man. I'm crying right now. YOU have no idea how amazing it was for me to have YOU in my life. You were the friend I needed so badly. I love you more than you know..............
P.S.-I'm going to haunt you FOREVER-and don't you forget it!

spideybrian said...

Seriously...adorable dress!! And so sad/exciting/scary to have Grace in school...

Jana said...

I can't believe little Gracie is in Kindergarten!?!

Elise said...

Oh the dress turned out so cute, Emily! And I am totally empathic about kindergarten. I really, really don't like the idea of it one bit. And I'm pretty sure I'm not going to like the reality of it any better.

Candace said...

The dress is adorable, what a special thing to have started with your mom and to be able to share with the girls. Are your kids in year round school? Grace looks so big, what a fun thing for her!